


The Darcy Enigma

by phoenixfire_19



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Depression, Explicit Language, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Trauma, Witch Darcy Lewis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:20:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25404490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixfire_19/pseuds/phoenixfire_19
Summary: Through a series of unfortunate life circumstances (i.e. poor decisions), Darcy finds herself at the Compound with the Avengers who want to help her heal, none more than the stubborn-ass Stark. But not everything can be fixed in a lab and Darcy is less than willing to part with her current unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Tony Stark
Comments: 70
Kudos: 153





	1. Chapter One: THAT Darcy??!!! Or, Clint Meets an Acorn

Chapter One

Tony knew shit was about to go down when Thor didn’t rumble into the Compound; he straight up tiptoed. Tony sat at the bar with a drink halfway to his lips as Thor hesitated in the doorway. He sighed before Thor could even speak.

“FRIDAY, call the team?” Tony set his glass down and spun around to face Thor. “So, what`d you do?”

Thor snorted. “I have done nothing wrong. Hopefully. I actually came to ask you for a favor.”

“Shoot, blondie.”

Thor sighed. “Do you remember the woman I used to speak of? Jane Foster?”

“Oh, I remember your flame. Eyes of fire and heart of gold, or something like that.”

“Yes. Well, she had a friend with whom we adventured. Her name is Darcy Lewis, she`s quite a formidable woman. Unleashed the power of lightening on me a few times.”

“Beat you at your own game, huh?” Tony laughed.

“Well, Ive been checking in on her every now and then since Jane is no longer here. And, well, she really needs some stability. She needs a place to stay and I was hoping she would be able to stay here until she can get back on her feet.” Thor seemed slightly nervous.

Tony sighed. He really needed to stop taking in strays. ‘But you love them’ his heart betrayed him.

“I`m sure we can find some job for her. If she could handle you and Foster, well, from what I`ve heard, she`s more than capable. What`s her deal?”

Thor fidgeted. “Its not my business to say. Darcy is Darcy. If I share anything she`s not comfortable with, she has threatened to ‘taze my balls into Long Island Sound’.”

Tony burst out laughing before throwing back the rest of his drink. “I like her already. Sure, no questions asked, room and board in exchange for team wrangling and organization. When`s she coming?”

“I actually left her outside.”

It was at this opportune moment that the team burst into the room. 

“What`s going on?”

“Thor, what did you do this time?”

Thor threw his hands in the air. “For the last time, I didn’t do anything!”

He was met with a few raised eyebrows before amending his statement.

“Anything bad.”

“I think.” With that, he spun and walked outside. Tony shrugged and followed, the rest of the team trailing behind.

“DARCY!!” Thor thundered to the sky.

Nat and Clint froze beside Tony. “Shit, Darcy? As in, Darcy Lewis? THAT Darcy??!!”

Clint was promptly met with an acorn to the head. Looking up, the team saw one Darcy Lewis perched high in the tree next to them.

“Hiya, fuckers. Nice to see you again too.”


	2. Chapter Two: In Which Darcy Gets Relocated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback Chapter: Darcy has a bit of a breakdown and ponders what has brought her to this point, surrounded by empty bottles and her godly older brother.

It was not Darcy`s day.

Nor was yesterday.

Or the day before.

It was just a shit week. Jane had called her at the beginning of the week from her facility off in wherever and Darcy was happy for her, she really was. She was just not happy for herself. Apparently, Jane`s word didn’t account for anything and since Darcy didn’t have a degree in fancy schmancy science things, she wasn’t allowed to go. It was fine, obviously. Darcy wasn’t lonely. Or sad. Or a freaking mess. 

Course not.

After that whole internship thing, Darcy was able to graduate but quickly decided that she didn’t want to get an actual boring job in life. She needed more. But also needed to pay her bills. So Darcy became a stripper.

She wasn’t surprised at herself, really. She knew what she had and she knew how to use it when she wanted to. Besides, it was never boring; there was always something new. After a few years doing that, she got bored again. So she became a trucker. Saw a lot of the big ole `merica that way. Had adventures, good and bad. She wasn’t bored at all. 

Until she was. 

So after her last delivery, she threw a pin into a map and drove out to the middle of bumblefuck Kansas, where she bought a cabin, planted a garden, and worked as a barmaid in town. Life was fine. 

Really.

Alright, life was not fine. At all. No one ever told Darcy that your problems would follow you around, no matter how far you drove. Every night, she had nightmares of the whole internship and….well, her past. Everything. Waking up in panicked anxiety for weeks on end? Not that much fun. 

So she threw herself into planting her garden, making her grimoire, stocking up on herbs and shit, learning spells. Her flowers and herbs listened when she whispered tales of her nightmares and memories through tears and snot at 2 in the morning. And being a barmaid wasn’t that bad. Darcy knew her alcohol, yes ma`am. She knew how to handle drunks. Plus, the manager really liked her so free booze every now and then.

But things were starting to go downhill again. It was the time of year where Darcy`s depression really kicked into full swing. Couple that with past trauma and its just a whole mental breakdown. But there was a specific incident which really fucked with Darcy`s week.

She had just gotten off her shift when a patron, nowhere near even tipsy, cornered her outside. Apparently, he thought her body came with the tab. Darcy wasn’t selling this time. So after he shoved her into the brick wall for a third time, she tazed him. But the man made a really big deal about it. And since Darcy was new, and young, and hot, and in the middle of bumblefuck Kansas, they believed him and Darcy lost her job.

So Darcy drowned her everything in booze. She shut down her phone and surrounded herself with empty and half full bottles on the kitchen floor and drank for three days, occasionally casting hexes on the piece of shit who cost her job and couldn’t understand the word no, and the misogynistic cop who eyed her up and down the entire time she gave her statement. Darcy was done with this shit. She was ready to drink through a fourth day when her door burst open.

“MMM THOR!” Darcy slurred as she spun around with a sloshing bottle before falling into the fridge. “Who the fuck moved the fridge?”

She refocused her eyes on him. “THOR! Hi! I`s sooo nice to see you! I`s so nice to see all of you, why in fuck are there two of you?” she giggled before taking another swig.

Thor took a deep breath. This woman.

“Darcy” he said gently, carefully approaching the swaying woman. “Whats going on? Jane said you haven’t answered your phone for four days.”

“Cause I been DRINKING!!” Darcy shouted. “YAY BOOZE!”

Thor sighed. “Darcy, honey, we talked about this.”

Darcy pouted, which was not attractive on a drunk. “But booze is nice! I`s not mean. It doesn` touch me or take my job. The alcomahol luvs me!” She giggled. “Alcomahol luvs me! YAY, someone luvs me!” She twirled before falling on her ass. “Ouchies.”

Thor sat down next to her. “Darcy, you need help. You need people to take care of you. You keep running from it and you cant anymore. Let me take you home, okay?”

Darcy rubbed her face and crawled into Thor`s lap. “Youre the best brother. I luv you.”

Thor hugged her. She seemed so fragile in his lap like this. He knew he would get clearer explanations about everything when she was sober. Uncorking the pouch at his belt, he held it out to her.

She wrinkled her nose. “Oh I hates this part.” As she took it, she almost dropped it as she jumped.

“Thor! Someone has to get my baby plants! We cant leave them here alone! They need me!”

Thor shushed her. “Don’t worry, sister, someone will bring your plants later.”

Content, Darcy took a swig of the potion and grimaced. A few seconds later, she shook herself.

“That stuff is fucking nasty.” She complained before promptly falling asleep. Thor scooped her up in his arms and summoning Mjolnir, left.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody! This chapter was so much fun to write! Let me know what y`all are thinking so far or any ideas.


	3. Chapter Three: In Which Tony Stark is Speechless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy meets the team and gets a small intervention from Thor.

“Hiya fuckers. Nice to see you again too.”

Darcy was pissed about having to wait outside so she climbed a tree. Whatever. Everything sucked now that she didn’t have her booze. She needed a drink to deal with this shit. Watching the team walk outside, she smirked as she zeroed in on Barton and Nat. Oh this was going to be interesting. So she chucked an acorn at his head. 

And now everyone was staring up at her. Rolling her eyes, she quickly slid down, brushing off her jeans.

“DARCY! NO!” Clint moaned. “That hurt. Acorns are fucking pointy as shit.”

“I regret to inform you that I am not offering condolences at this time, Robin Hood.” Darcy snarked.

Tony snorted with laughter before Darcy turned to Natasha. Looking the Black Widow up and down, she smirked. “Hey sexy.” She winked. And the Black Widow, slayer of men and disappointment, fucking blushed. She blushed. Tony was floored. 

Tony prided himself on feeling in control of a situation. He liked to have a plan; he liked to change the plan many times; he liked to abandon the plan. But he still wanted to be in control. Standing here, watching the one and only Darcy Lewis walk through the team and towards the doors of HIS COMPOUND, he felt utterly and completely at a loss. Blinking, he looked back and forth between Darcy and Thor, who merely shrugged. “Darcy does what Darcy wants, Stark.”

“Lewis!” Tony called after the woman. She lazily spun around. “You just going to watch me leave, Stark, or are you going to show me where I can park my fine ass for the night?”

Recovering from his shock, Tony winked. “Well the tour does conclude in my bedroom.” He then lost feeling in his arm.

Spinning to the side, he came face to face with a very scary Natasha. “Hands off, Stark.” She then sauntered up to Darcy`s side, slipping their hands together as Darcy laughed at the look on Stark`s face.

“Come on, Stark! Show me all your toys! And booze!”

Tony shook his head. “Okay, Space Command. But only if you tell me the story behind that.” He pointed between the two women as he walked up to them.

Darcy winked. “Keep guessing, sunshine. Get me drunk enough and maybe.”

\---

Darcy was in love. She had collapsed into the fluffy pile of blankets that was now her new bed and decided that she was never moving again. This was it; this was her nest. 

Being sober sucked right now. But it didn’t suck enough to get drunk, Darcy decided. It had been a pretty cool day. She finally got welcomed into the Avenger`s family type cult thing after years of just being Jane`s intern. Nobody noticed Darcy. She wasn’t important enough. But here she was, in the Compound, with a BLANKET NEST, her god of an older brother, her new old best friend, and the hot woman whose name was not Charlie (but Darcy didn’t mind; she was freaking Black Widow. Darcy would call her Daddy if she asked). Also, Tony Stark. That man was going to be so much fun to mess with. 

See, Darcy survives off of snark and sarcasm; specializing in throwing people off because of her sheer unashamed brashness. Yeah, yeah, yeah, genius-playboy-billionaire-philanthropist-Iron Man; whatever. He was no match for her lack of self-preservation skills.

A knock at her door interrupted her scheming as to how to methodically and irrepairably unwind Tony Stark.

“Come in!” Darcy shouted.

From her cocoon of blankets, Darcy watched Thor duck through the doorway carrying a box of her plants.

“Oooh yay! My babies!” she made grabby hands as she reached for the box. Thor set it down in front of her as Darcy sprang up. She began to bustle around the room, arranging her plants in her own little world as the God of Thunder sat on her bed like a child.

“Darcy?” He inquired. 

“Mmm?” she vocalized, deciding whether Pokey Stabby should sit next to Fluffy or sit alone in the corner.

“Are you alright?”

Darcy blinked then sighed. “Yup. Totally didn’t spend the last four days in the sweet embrace of alcohol. Everythings fine, what about you?”

It was Thor`s turn to sigh. “Darcy, this isn’t the first time I`ve found you surrounded by glass bottles. You cant lie to me. What happened?”

She fidgeted uncomfortably, staying standing by the now plant covered windowsill. “Its just not my time of year, you know? And then there was this really awful dude at the bar I was working at. I said no, he didn’t listen, I tazed him. But then I lost my job because Kansas doesn’t appreciate women being able to defend themselves!” Darcy finished with a screech.

Thor gently pulled her to sit on the bed next to him. “I`m really sorry, Darcy. You are an absolutely incredible woman and anyone who doesn’t recognize that doesn’t deserve you. But you need to heal. This isn’t good or healthy.”

Darcy sighed. “I know. But I`m…”she paused for a moment before bursting out “I`m so lonely!” Then Darcy dissolved into tears.

Wrapping his arms around her, Thor pulled Darcy into his lap and held her while she cried. He gently stroked her back. Darcy was a wanderer. She was afraid to trust people, to let people love her. Instead, she kept searching the world for a place that would make her happy, not realizing that only people could do that. But Thor didn’t say any of this; he knew that she didn’t feel like she would fit in here, no matter how much she joked or her past with some of the Avengers. He wished Jane was here.

Darcy stopped sniffling. “Sorry, that came out of nowhere. I`m fine. Actually, I`m hungry.”

“Would you like to join the team for dinner?” Thor asked, recognizing her deflection but also; food is important.

Darcy chewed her lip before forcing a bright smile. “Sure! Of course!”

And with that, they set off for the kitchens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIIIII EVERYONE!  
> Surprise, I`m not dead. I havent updated any of my stories in weeks (i dont know if thats true or not but it feels like it).  
> I just have not had the energy. I`ve been reading a lot of other fanfiction and doing summer classes and my job and being depressed. I`m going to post an explanation in one of my other stories, Rescue, just because I feel like thats where it needs to go. I started that story months ago and its such a journey; so thats where my mental breakdown will be. Not here.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed! Its definitely not my best work but we needed to move the story along. There will be better chapters coming soon! Please comment :)  
> Love you guys, stay safe out there!


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team dinner and everyone finds out how Darcy met Clint.

Chapter Four

“Spread me like pizza dough, this shit is amazing.” Darcy moaned into her slice of veggie pizza. Tony Stark snorted his water as Thor pinched his nose in exasperation. The rest of the team dissolved into laughter as Tony tried to compose himself. 

“So, Darcy, huh?” Steve tried to reign in the group. “What`s your story?”

Darcy cleared her throat. “Umm, yeah. Hi everybody, I`m Darcy.”

“Hiii Darcy,” Clint intoned as the two cracked up.

“Yeah so I`m Darcy, I got wrapped up in this shit because I needed internship credits and I thrive off of adventure so I took off with Dr. Jane Foster. Then Hercules over here dropped out of the sky and got us tangled up in the alien shit, Janey-poo got attacked by said alien shit, so he took her away from me and left me to deal with PR and all. Eventually they came back but Jane`s super smart so she does Science! Things. I finished school and have been adventuring ever since.” She finished with a flourish. Thor sighed. She had skipped over a lot.

“I still want to know how you know our two favorite spy-sassians.” Tony gestured between Nat and Clint as the former blushed and the latter grinned.

Darcy took a sip of her beer. “Well, Snarky, I can only tell one of those stories. A girl`s gotta have her secrets.” She winked at Nat before continuing.

“Once upon a time, the government took my iPod for no reason other than they could.”

“That`s such a good fucking start to a story” murmured Clint, giving her a fistbump.

“Yes. I was understandably pissed. I had the most perfect and tailored playlists on it and was not taking that shit, especially after putting up with the alien shit and nearly losing my best friend. So I did some handy dandy Google-ing…”

“Hacking!” Clint interjected. 

“Whatever!” Darcy stuck her tongue out at him. “So I found Shield`s base of operations and barged in, with the sole intention of flaying Agent Agent Son of Coul alive and getting my iPod the FUCK back.”

Clint snorted. “You should’ve seen her! I was hiding in the vents and she storms into motherfucking SHIELD! She walks in, demanding to see Coulson! Everyone was so terrified, they just let her pass. Coulson was in a meeting but she literally forced someone to let her in.”

“One of my proudest moments!” Darcy sighed. “So I walk into the room loudly requesting–“

“You were screaming”

“Okay, maybe a little. I was tired of waiting and I backed Coulson into his chair and demanded my iPod back!”

At this point, everyone in the room was giggling; even Steve, whose face was pretty pale at first until he imagined Darcy taking down Coulson.

Darcy swirled her drink. “Unfortunately, SHIELD isn’t good at communication and they kicked me out of the meeting room. But everyone standing around was too scared to show me out of the building so I just paced back and forth in front of the door.”

“By this point, I had dropped down out of the vents and she…ummm…well, I may have scared her.” Clint said sheepishly.

“Scared me??? Of course you fucking scared me! A full grown-ass muscle man drops out of the ceiling next to me, of course I`m going to freak!”

“You pinned me up against the wall!”

“You deserved it!”

Everyone was in hysterics now.

Darcy continues. “So I pinned him up against the wall and I say, ‘If you don’t take me through the vents and help me get my iPod, I will find where you live and kill you in your sleep’.”

“I was going to offer to help anyway!”

“But I didn’t know that, Hawk-Ass!” Darcy takes a long swig of her beer. “So we climb up into the vents, which are a lot bigger than they look, by the way. Clint leads us into Coulson`s office, we pick our way into his drawers– god, that sounds wonderfully dirty– his desk, excuse me.”

Clint interrupted. “When I showed her out, we may or may not have also set Another One Bites the Dust to play on repeat at full volume for two hours over the entire building`s intercoms.”  
Once everyone collected themselves off the floor, Clint shook his head. “That was the best day of work ever.”

Darcy toasted him. “You and me both. I got my iPod back and got to piss off Agent Agent Son of Coul.”

She rose and began stacking plates, carrying them over to the dishwasher. As everyone cleared the table, Tony leaned over the counter.

“So I don’t get to hear about your adventures with Ginger Spice?” He pouted.

Darcy winked. “Use your imagination, Stark. I`m sure you have already.” And she walked away, swinging her hips.

Thor clapped Tony on the shoulder. “That woman, Stark, is pure fire. She`ll melt you.”

Tony slowly smiled. Darcy was an enigma and he would figure her out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I`M BACK, EVERYONE!
> 
> If you dont follow my other story Rescue, I`ll explain here real quick. My depression has sucked ass the past month and I`ve had absolutely zero motivation to write. Corona sucks and I`m stuck at home for sophomore year of college. And I`ve been doing lots of thinking and learning about myself so thats fun. Overall, getting out of bed is just really hard.
> 
> But i have inspiration to write again so yay! It will definitely be slow and this story wont be updated as much as Rescue, or whatever the second installment of it will be called, i dunno yet. If youre really interested in whats been going on or just that story in general, you know where to find it.
> 
> OTHERWISE!   
> Snarky Darcy is the best. I can see her and Clint getting into so much mischief together. Also, what happened between her and Nat? Nobody knows, hahaha. Once I get my shit together, this story is going to be so good, y`all. I truly am really excited to develop her character, create some angst, make more Darcy/Tony happiness to populate this website.
> 
> As always, please comment, leave kudos, fuel my lonely soul. Love you all, please stay safe out there!


	5. Chapter Five: Hey Sexy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After team dinner, Darcy remembers how she met Natasha.

Back in her room, Darcy collapsed on her bed. Again. Depression sucked ass. After spending two hours with the team, pretending to be her happy Darcy self, she was fucking exhausted.

It was nice to hang out with Clint, though. She had missed him.

And Natasha. Not Charlie.

\---

Applause faded as Darcy, or Angel as she was known, collected her top and strutted off the stage. God, she was fucking exhausted. Making her way over to the bar to check in with the house mom, the woman raised an eyebrow.

“Angel, you`ve got an admirer.”

Darcy smirked before looking over her shoulder to find her house mom`s line of sight. Her gaze landed on a tall, lithe woman standing against the wall across the club. She was dressed in skin tight black leather; her shoulder length red hair was straightened sharp enough to cut. Her sultry eyes found Darcy`s and burned through her to the pit of her stomach. Oh shit, she was sexy. 

“She overpaid for a room, Angel.”

“How much?”

“More than you make in a night.”

Darcy`s jaw dropped. She made a LOT in a night. Well, usually. Slow days were slow days for everyone. Her eyes found the woman still staring at her and her belly fluttered.

“I`m taking you off dances for the rest of the night. Go tie that one down.” Her house mom nudged her off to the hot woman waiting for Darcy. She couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit aroused as she made her way over. That didn’t usually happen; usually this was just about getting paid.

“Hey sexy.” Her voice was sultry and smoky from the club air. Darcy pressed into her against the wall. 

“Heard you were praying for an Angel.” Darcy delivered her signature line with a purr, carefully dragging her eyes up the woman`s body. God, she was the hottest woman she`d ever seen. She delicately curled her fingers around the woman`s wrist and led her back to one of the private rooms.

Once inside, the woman settled down onto the plush couch and Darcy climbed on top of her, knees framing the woman`s hips. She slowly began to gyrate as she traced her fingers up and down the woman`s arms. Leaning in, she gave her a substantial view of her cleavage to whisper in her ear, “so what do they call you?”

The woman slid her hands up Darcy`s thighs. “They call me Charlie.”

Slightly thrown off her game, Darcy let out a loud laugh, barking up to the heavens as she arched back. Sliding up Charlie`s lap, she watched her, want hidden behind her eyes. “Guess that makes me your angel, then.”

Charlie smiled lazily. “Guess so.”

With one move, Darcy swung her leg over Charlie`s shoulders, spinning so that she could press her ass into her belly. Charlie`s hands wrapped around her waist, reaching up to fondle her breasts. Darcy leaned into her touch, opening her mouth just so and moaning slightly. She did her job well. As Charlie`s grip began to tighten, she slid off her lap and stood in front of her. Lifting a heel up to the base of the chair, she reached to unclasp her top. Quicker than lightning, Charlie stood and grasped her wrist.

“As much as I`d love to take this farther, this isn’t why I`m here.” 

Darcy froze. Shit, this was not going to be good. 

Charlie stepped past her and over to the small bar in the corner of the room, getting out two glasses and a bottle of champagne. Darcy crossed her arms over her rejected chest.

“What do you need?” she asked, trying to exude calm and seductive as she took the champagne flute from Charlie`s hand.

They sat down and the woman swirled her drink. “Let`s say I have a job and I need certain information. And you happen to frequently encounter this job.”

Darcy snorted. “So this is a hostage situation?”

“No, consider this mutually beneficial.” Charlie made eye contact with her before taking a sip. Setting the glass down, she leaned forward and whispered the name of her target in Darcy`s ear.

A slow smile spread across Darcy`s face. Hell yeah. This guy was an absolute creep, always trying to grab the girls` tops or follow them to the dressing room. He seemed to confuse strippers with prostitutes and took things too far with some of the younger girls. He always broke club rules but he flashed money everywhere so no one could do anything about him. Darcy was more than willing to provide any information Charlie wanted on him.

Two hours and another bottle of champagne later, Darcy rose from the couch. Charlie gathered up her notes and recording device. Where she fit it all in that leather, Darcy had no idea but it just turned her on even more.

“Guess you`ll have to come another time for your dance, then.” She pointed as she slipped over to the door. Charlie blocked her.

“Or, we could go out for a drink and really get to know each other.”

The very small rational part of Darcy`s brain was screaming at her, no, do not mix work and not work. But Darcy was very much interested in seeing where this night could go. Tracing a finger over the waistline of Charlie`s pants, she winked.

“Well, I`m free for the night.”

\---

They ended up in a bar for about thirty minutes. The drinking contest was short lived; after escaping to the bathroom, both women decided they didn’t really want to have sex in a sleazy bar`s bathroom. Just ew. 

So they ended up at Darcy`s place. Clothes lined the hall to the bedroom as they fought each other for dominance. The best and hottest sex of Darcy`s life followed. Literally. She orgasmed like, five times. Charlie was gone when she woke up; Darcy let herself feel a moment of disappointment before squashing it down. It was one night.

Darcy groaned into her pillow, pulling herself out of the memory. She wasn’t surprised that Charlie was in fact, not Charlie. She wasn’t mad, she understood. But damn, that woman was hot. Darcy just was not relationship material right now. Besides, Natasha seemed pretty cozy with Clint. Darcy laughed. Trust the two to bond over their shared love of all things Darcy. She curled herself up in her blankets and drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first sexy times scene I have ever written. Yes, I know, it wasnt great. I thrive off of plot, my dudes. But stripper Darcy and Charlie`s Angels references? I mean, come on!
> 
> Anyway, I`m really happy to be back with this story. I`m doing like three other things so updates are sporadic but this story is turning into THE SHIT! I love Darcy so much.
> 
> Please comment, leave kudos, subscribe, y`all know the drill. Love you guys, stay safe out there!


	6. Chapter Six: An Angel Never Forgets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Nat work some things out...

It was one in the morning when Darcy blinked awake to find a very hesitant spy-assassin sitting at the foot of her bed. Shooting up, she squealed.

“Hell, Natasha! Give a girl some warning!”

The woman only blinked. 

Concerned, Darcy scooted closer. “Natasha?”

“Do you remember Charlie?” the woman whispered. 

Darcy slowly smiled. “An Angel never forgets.”

Almost as soon as the words escaped her mouth, Natasha had pulled her on top of her, capturing her mouth in a searing kiss. Their lips slammed together as their tongues caressed each other. Their hands roamed over each other`s shoulders, backs, breasts, slipping under shirt hems and tugging away. Darcy didn’t know when it happened but Natasha was now on top of her, grasping at her hair, pulling at her pants` waistline.

Darcy felt nothing, though. The passion she had flown into this make out session with disappeared, leaving her with the empty hole in her chest that she had been trying to fill for years. If she did this, she would just be using Natasha. And that would probably very quickly backfire.

Darcy sighed, pulling away. “Natasha, I cant do this.”

The woman stopped, looking her in the eyes, any trace of lust gone. “What do you mean?”

Darcy rubbed at her face. “This. Human connection in general. Don’t get me wrong, it was the best sex of my life but if we do this, I won`t be able to stop. I`ll use you as a coping mechanism and I can’t do that. I don’t want to do that. I`m pretty fucked up and you don’t want any part of this.”

Natasha smiled, climbing off Darcy`s lap and adjusting her shirt. “First of all, on the scale of fucked up, I`m pretty sure I`m higher than you. But I respect that. We don’t really know each other anyway. We can take a moment to acknowledge the best night of our lives and just be friends from here on out.”

Darcy sighed, relieved. “Friends. Although, I wouldn’t be opposed to drinking together again sometime.”

Natasha laughed and gently picked up Darcy`s hand. “Okay so friends. And drinking. And causing trouble.”

Darcy smiled, leaning her head against Natasha`s shoulder. “So do you wanna go drink some hot cocoa together instead?”

Natasha grinned, pulling Darcy out of her blanket nest. “That sounds awesome. Maybe we could even talk about why Darcy is ‘pretty fucked up’.”

Darcy groaned, pulling her shirt back on. “No, not you too! I just had this conversation with Thor! By the way, how do you like your hot cocoa?”

If Natasha recognized the deflection, she said nothing.

The two women made their way into the kitchen, pulling out ingredients for hot cocoa. As Darcy began to heat the milk on the stove, Nat started to shave the good chocolate bar. As the milk began to steam, Darcy slid the shavings into the milk. Making Nat stir, she walked over to one of the many spice cabinets(can you imagine having more than one???). On her tiptoes, she reached around inside for a dried pepper. Chopping up a hot pepper into dust, she sprinkled about half a teaspoon-ish into the pot, as well as a teaspoon of vanilla. With an eyebrow raised, Nat grabbed the nutmeg from over Darcy`s shoulder and shaved a teaspoon of that into the pot as well. The two women laughed as they pulled out gigantic mugs and poured the hot cocoa into each, with baby marshmallows floating on top.

Climbing over the back of the sofa, Darcy set her cocoa on the coffee table before pulling all of the cozy blankets out of the hidden compartments in the sofa and curling up in a nest. Nat climbed in next to her, cuddling up to her as they sipped their hot cocoa. 

“So, what do you wanna watch?” the Black Widow smiled over the rim of her mug.

Darcy cocked her head. “Maybe this is weird, but there`s nothing like a good National Geographic, am I right?”

A few hours later, after half-absorbing the program on the Atlanteans between telling stories of the stupid shit Clint gets himself into, Darcy and Natasha dozed off, asleep against each other while the tv droned on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we love consent and understanding boundaries!  
> i think its awesome that nat and darcy can be like, yeah the sex was good that one time but lets be friends instead.  
> i cant wait to write more because i felt very stuck here with this interaction for a little bit. i also cant wait to explore darcy`s feelings and everything soon, the girl needs help.  
> hope you all are staying safe and healthy! i`ll be posting more very soon (hopefully) :)


	7. Chapter Seven: Did the Floor Monster Eat Your Feet? or Breakfast with Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy accidentally has breakfast with Tony.

Darcy blearily blinked awake, cuddled up cozy with an assassin. From over the back of the couch, she could hear sounds of a coffee maker. Climbing out of the blanket nest, she picked up the abandoned cocoa mugs from the night before and shuffled into the kitchen. Putting the mugs in the sink, Darcy turned to the coffee maker and took the waiting cup, sitting down in the middle of the floor to sip at the drink. She sighed, hands curled around the warmth as it settled in her stomach. Hearing a snort, she finally blinked her eyes awake and looked up to see one Tony Stark, eating blueberry pancakes at the counter.

“Did the floor monster eat your feet?” he asked, an eyebrow raised and chuckling.

Darcy frowned, curling around her mug. “Mine.”

They sat in silence and Darcy finished her coffee and Tony ate. Eventually, Darcy stood, put her second mug in the sink, and turned to Tony with a blinding smile. “Thanks for the coffee. Sorry about the Darcy-monster.”

He laughed, sliding a plate of blueberry pancakes over to her. “Eat, Shortstack.”

\---

As Tony watched the woman in front of him, he remembered that morning. He had been up late in the lab and planned to have breakfast and then go the fuck to sleep. Stumbling into the kitchen, he noticed two messy buns poking up over the edge of the sofa, backlit by the TV`s light. Walking over, he froze at the sight of Nat and Darcy curled up asleep in a nest of blankets. Both women looked so at peace. He watched as Darcy stirred, cuddling into Nat as Nat wrapped her arms around her. Well that answered that question, Tony thought bitterly. No woman would ever turn down Natasha for anyone. 

He made his way into the kitchen and began pulling ingredients for blueberry pancakes. Maybe he could cook for them too, since he was already up. Maybe he could get Darcy to open up to him a little; he remembered his conversation with Thor about her being unstable.

After making the blueberry pancakes, he started up his coffee and sat down to eat. Hearing noise behind him, he turned to watch Darcy extract herself from the blankets and stumble over with two mugs, eyes bleary and barely seeing. Reaching out for the coffee mug, she sighed as her hand curled around it. Tony thought about pointing out that it was his, but as she curled up on the floor, he couldn’t help but snort. Having two sips of coffee in her, she clearly used all that caffeine to glare at him. After their quick banter, he slid a plate of pancakes over to her and watched as she happily pulled herself upright and sat down at the counter to eat.

“So. You and Nat?”

Darcy chuckled. “Just very clingy friends. Jealous much?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Nah. Just trying to figure out why you were cuddled up to an assassin since who knows when last night.”

Darcy pointed her fork at him. “Listen, even assassins need cuddles, ok? Doesn’t make her any less human.”

It was a joke but Tony could sense the underlying threat of ‘Back off’. While Darcy finished her breakfast, he worked on some designs on his StarkPad. He was startled out of his inventing brain by a mug of coffee being pushed in front of him. He looked up to find Darcy watching him.

“Thank you.”

She shrugged. “I take care of you Science geeks; its what I do. See ya around, Stark.”

\---

Darcy knew when she woke up that it was a bad head day. Last night with Nat was amazing and she felt so safe. It was nice to just sit at breakfast with Stark; she could already see his Jane Tendencies emerging. Plus that man could make really good blueberry pancakes so she was okay with the fact that her brain already decided to take care of him. But the second she got back to her room, she was hit with a wave of not okayness. 

All of the strength left her once she got three steps into the room. Folding in on herself, she sank down to the floor and just laid there, staring into the nothingness. She hated when she got like this. She didn’t know where it came from, she didn’t know why her depression just decided to whack her in the noggin with Myuh Myuh but here she was. She wanted to cry but she couldn’t. It was too much, too soon. She didn’t belong here, with all of these special people. Thor brought her here because the golden retriever cared too much about her; he didn’t trust her to stay safe on her own. Which was fine, Darcy didn’t trust herself either. But that didn’t mean it sucked any less. 

She reached up to her bed and pulled down a blanket from her nest, holding it tightly against her chest. Letting out one sob, she reined the rest of it back in. She needed to be ok; these were superheroes she was living with, they didn’t need her minor and unimportant bullshit. She reached under her bed for the one bottle of whisky she had squirreled away from Thor`s watchful gaze and took a swig. Yeah, time to compartmentalize and be okay, Darcy girl. Let`s get busy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, darcy did steal tony`s coffee and survived to tell the tale.
> 
> yes, darcy is very much not okay but we knew that. we just have to wait for everyone else to know that.
> 
> guys....i need help and inspiration with this story. I think I have ideas but I need encouragement and your input on what you want to read. i want to write this story but I`m kinda stuck. So please comment with any suggestions, etc. Depression is kicking my ass and writing fanfiction makes me happy so make me write fanfiction hahaha. 
> 
> hope everybody is staying safe.


	8. Chapter Eight: My Second Favorite Mistake Eraser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy employs some coping mechanisms and Tony is panicking.

Darcy wandered the aisles of the local Home Depot like a wife whose husband hasn’t put molding in the bedroom after 12 years and she`s fucking done so she`s just going to do it herself. The helpful, typically self-inflated orange vests that usually hover around any unsuspecting do-it-yourself-er steered clear, even going so far as to back up and turn around, sprinting for the next aisle.

She looked at the paint swatches for five minutes before making a decision. Slapping a card called ‘Hearty Hosta’ down on the counter, she fixed the associate in the eye.

“Give me some of my second favorite mistake eraser in this shade.”

Some intimidation later, Darcy got two cans of the green paint and other supplies and headed back to the Compound, stopping at the liquor store and restocking. She wasn’t an alcoholic, she just couldn’t deal with her problems right now, okay?

Storing the booze under her bed, she changed into overalls and tied her hair up. Eyeing the walls, she pulled the furniture into the middle of the room before pouring the paint into the pan and getting to work, making use of the desk chair that was oh so conveniently the perfect height to reach the top of the wall.

\---

“Sir? It appears Miss Lewis is doing some semi-permanent redecorating.”

Tony shot up from behind his lab table and began to quickly walk toward Darcy`s room. What did FRIDAY mean, semi-permanent? Good lord, if she was–

He burst into her room and stopped short at the sight in front of him. Darcy stood on a chair in her bra and paint streaked overalls, hair curling around her damp forehead as she turned to look at him. Her lips began to form an insult as she wiped her arm across her face, smearing a pale green paint across her cheek. Before she could say anything, Tony let his mouth run.

“So why are you attacking my building? Did FRIDAY want her makeup done and you just didn’t think to consult her father about whether that was appropriate??!!”

Darcy rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him. “Painting is a metaphor, Stark. I`m coping, okay?”

She reached down and picked up a tea cup that Tony was pretty sure was filled with alcohol. He raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh yeah? How`s that going for you?”

Tony felt a wet splotch of something hit his forehead and drip down his face. He wiped it away from his eyes to see green paint streaked across his hand and a grinning Darcy. She burst into giggles at the look on his face. 

“Oh my gosh, your face!”

She doubled over, watching as Tony wiped the paint off with the hem of his shirt. Rolling up his sleeves, he made his way over to her. 

“Give me a roller, we`re doing this the right way.”

After swiping her arm once, they got to work. By the time they were finished, there might have been more paint on them than the walls. Laughing, they sat on the floor, before Darcy stood to refill her cup. Watching her pour, Tony was about to say something when she fixed him with a glare.

“What?” she demanded.

Tony snorted, "I'm not throwing stones, Shortstack. I used to put the fun in functioning alcoholic."*

She nodded. “Good. Because I was about to tell you to go fuck off.”

She downed her drink and then gestured to Tony. “Alright, let`s put my baby plants back.”

Tony frowned. “Your what?”

She rolled her eyes. Why was she so good at that?

“I`m a witch, dumbass. My plants.” She pointed to the pile of potted plants in the middle of the room. 

He cocked his head, confused. "You mean like Wanda?"

She rolled her eyes. “No, just like herbs and small spells and stuff. I cant summon magical mist from my fingers or anything. Now help.”

Tony helped her rearrange them around the room, listening as she named each one and described their characteristics and uses. Her rambling was endearing; he found himself smiling as she rattled on.

“As a Science! Person, I don’t expect you to understand, but yeah. Its my thing.”

He nodded slowly. “I mean, its not my thing but I`ve seen so much crazy shit, I cant even begin to judge or doubt you.”

Unthinking, he reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She blinked at him when he wavered a second too long before pulling his hand back, embarrassed. 

He cleared his throat. “Um, yeah. So where`d you learn all this?”

She laughed. “It’s a long story, actually.”

He grinned. “Well, I`m cooking tonight so you can tell me on our way to the kitchen.”

“Okay, well, I gotta shower. I`ll meet you there?”

\---

Tony was at the stove when Darcy popped herself up onto the counter next to him. “What are you making?”

He was too distracted by the sight of her, in a loose t-shirt and shorts, hair still lightly dripping, as she leaned over his work. He allowed himself to breath in the smell of her shampoo once before sending energy back to his brain.

“Food. I`m making food.”

She laughed.

“So,” Tony continued. “How`d you go from astrophysicist`s assistant to witch?”

She rolled her eyes. She really needed to stop doing that to Tony. “First of all, I was never an assistant. I was an unpaid intern.”

“Seriously? For how long?” Tony was shocked. From what he had read in his not-stalking, Darcy was Foster`s assistant/intern for quite a few years and had a pretty solid grasp on astrophysics herself.

“For the whole time?”

Tony was speechless.

“Yeah, it was just for college stuff. But then the Super Secret Men In Black showed up, took all our stuff, and basically blacklisted us, but mainly me, because I`m just a poli sci intern. So I stuck with Janeypoo because she would die without me. Except then the whole terrifying elves thing happened. After that, I was just chilling in the apartment one day and Thor shows up with his brother. Loki needed a place to stay, everyone wanted him dead, blah blah blah. Well, the dude never fucked with me so I was fine with him staying.”

“Seriously, Darcy?”

“What? I trust Thor!”

Tony sighed.

Darcy smiled. “Anywho, Jane was off galavanting through the universe and the world of Science! things so I was feeling pretty useless. So in our endless weeks of boredom, Loki taught me about witchcraft. It felt right so I`ve been practicing ever since. Learning more all the time, calling him up every now and then to talk about stuff, its cool.”

Tony shook his head. This woman had zero self-preservation skills. Of course, that didnt stop him from being drawn to her. He definitely didnt keep glancing at her throughout dinner or how her eyes lit up when she laughed. Of course not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> by the end of this chapter, i was kinda running out of steam. i think we need a heavy dose of angst, what about you? hahaha.
> 
> the line with the * next to it comes from the lovely Argentee who gave me a few lines and ideas to help refuel this story. thank you so much again!
> 
> but yeah. i`m currently writing three different stories at the same time. its spooky season and i love that. if youre bored or waiting on this story, feel free to go read some of my other stuff because writing ebbs and flows, ya know?
> 
> okie, love you all! i promise a new chapter within the next week! stay safe, stay healthy.  
> also, if you live in the states, life sucks right now for us and the future is really scary but i believe that we can overcome all this crap and make things better. we can get through this. just dont give up :)


	9. Chapter Nine: In Which Darcy Gains New Science! Minions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the week goes by, Darcy falls into the new normal and struggles with making it work.

Darcy wanted to say that she snapped right into Science! people management, that taking care of Tony and Bruce helped her ignore her own issues. 

The answer is, sorta.

A week into her stay at the Tower and getting out of bed in the morning was still the worst. It usually took Darcy over an hour to get herself to move. After her morning coffee, she would head down to the labs to berate the scientists. With Janey, she was on her from the beginning of the day with breakfast but here, Darcy couldn’t find it in her to care that early in the morning. 

Bruce and Tony usually hadn’t eaten so she would get them to eat a quick breakfast while working; usually avocado toast or a breakfast burrito or something like that. After grumpy scientists were fed, she would head upstairs and get dressed for the day, which usually took her an hour. Clothes were also the worst. Darcy wanted to look cute and wonderful and happy but goddamnit if pants weren’t the curse of mankind some days.

Some mascara, blush, and lip gloss later, Darcy dragged herself back downstairs to the lab and promptly hauled the Science boys out for lunch. As they ate, she busied herself around the lab, cleaning up trash, saving random napkins with scribbled equations, making sure nothing would catch on fire. 

The boys usually rushed back into the lab after finishing their lunch, busying themselves with whatever they had left mid-thought before Darcy interrupted them. Then she would hang around, listening to their Science rambles and helping with any machinery adjustments they needed.

That was one thing Darcy was really good at: fixing machinery. As a kid, her dad had owned a car shop and she spent a lot of her time in there, quickly learning that she would have to earn her dad`s attention. So she pushed herself to be the best mechanic her dad could have. Obviously, it didn’t end up working, her dad still hated her. But it prepared her for dealing with Janey`s persnickety machines and now, the Science! twins` experiments.

About halfway through the afternoon, Darcy would head upstairs and collapse on her bed for a few minutes, mindlessly scrolling through Twitter or YouTube. Then she would go cook an amazing dinner for the team. Not that they didn’t appreciate it, they truly did. Not a meal would pass without everyone heaping compliments upon her for her cooking. Sometimes, they would even join her in the kitchen under the guise of “helping”, meanwhile sneaking bites. This was mostly Sam and Clint but she`d even caught Bruce and Tony outside of the lab to “poison test” her cooking.

Nat and Darcy would usually hang out after dinner, going for a walk or curling up on the couch. Sometimes they had movie nights, sometimes everyone just passed out in bed. Thor would often join her for a cup of tea or a drink on the balcony in the middle of the night, showing her the constellations and galaxies. Darcy put off sleeping for as long as possible, afraid of the nightmares.

\---

Unfortunately, the nightmares always found her. Darcy shot out of bed, heart pounding and shaking. Glancing at the clock, she tried to take some deep breaths. It had only been an hour since she crawled into bed and it was 2 am. Awake Darcy would’ve groaned and mumbled some curses but Darcy was too shaken up to think. Her hands trembled as she slid to the floor, head between her knees. The silence only gave her brain time to remember her dream. A door slammed down the hall and for a moment she froze, caught in the memory of a home with slamming doors and danger. Snapping her head back against the wall, she forced herself up. 

“Fuck this shit.” Darcy grabbed a bottle before heading to the kitchen. She wouldn’t be going to sleep for the rest of the night and needed to bake to get her mind out of that place. The alcohol would help distract her too.

She didn’t really remember the rest of the night or how she got to bed but when she woke up, head throbbing and eyes puffy, there were meds and water for her hangover with a note; “Next time you go on a baking frenzy, feel free to ask for company ~N”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys this was hard. i`m really depressed and stressed so the fanfiction is going to ride that train with me :)  
> none of the characters really wanted to talk tonight...hopefully, things go a little more smoothly this week.
> 
> love you guys!


	10. Chapter Ten: The Jane Foster Guide to the Darcy Lewis Scale of Okieday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mysterious N (guys, its no surprise) confronts Thor about their fears for Darcy.

“Black-out drunk baking is only a seven??!!!” Nat exclaimed. She sighed, rubbing her temples.

Nat had found Darcy in the kitchen at 4:30 am, blackout drunk and sobbing on the floor in the middle of 12 trays of cookies. Nat stayed up with her for another two hours, making sure she didn’t light anything on fire, before carrying her back to bed once she passed out. She watched over her until she fell asleep, leaving meds and a note. As soon as it was a reasonable hour of the morning, she bee-lined for Thor`s door, demanding answers as to why Darcy was a walking mental breakdown. Thor had ushered her inside to the couch before pushing a thin notebook across the coffee table.

The Jane Foster Guide to the Darcy Lewis Scale of Okieday  
1- Four hours of sleep in nightmare city.  
2- Prank goddess.  
3- PopTarts for breakfast.  
4- Impromptu dance party.  
5- Home improvement projects (usually involving paint)  
6- Tipsy stargazing (supervision on roofs suggested)  
7- Blackout drunk baking.  
8- Sexy times with questionable motives.  
9- Nuclear anger bomb (supervision on roofs required)  
10- The self-destruct button (physical restraint likely)

“Shit,” Nat swore under her breath.

Thor nodded sadly. “My sister Darcy is rarely okay. For as much as she cares for Jane and now Tony and Bruce, she needs her own list for coping. Jane developed this list so that she could recognize the signs of Darcy`s mental state without having to hold an intervention.”

Nat stared at the list. “Her 1 is four hours of sleep with nightmares?”

“Darcy rarely sleeps. Her past was unkind to her, even before the alien invasions. She only truly trusts Jane; she will sometimes come to me but rarely, since she believes that she is of no importance to me.”

Nat took a deep breath. “What about Jane? Shouldn’t we call her here?”

Thor shifted uncomfortably. “Well, Jane and I are no longer truly together. We decided a break was best until we could communicate better. But I still care for her deeply and Darcy as well.”

“I fail to see where there is a problem with bringing Jane here, Thor.”

He shifted again. “Well, you see, Jane doesn’t know that Darcy isn’t doing well.”

Silence echoed as Nat processed that. “And why not?” she growled.

“Because Darcy doesn’t want her to know that she`s struggling. She doesn’t want to hold Jane back from her work. She doesn’t want Jane to worry about her. I haven’t even talked to Jane since she called me about Darcy not answering her calls. Well, I did but I told her everything was okay now.”

Nat rolled her eyes. “Well, its not okay. Darcy needs her.”

Thor gently touched her arm. “Darcy also needs to learn to trust other people. I promise I will call Jane if it gets to a 9 but not yet.”

Nat sighed. “I guess that’s admirable. But I`m not going to be the one to tell Jane that we specifically didn’t tell her that her favorite person is on DEFCON 2.”

Thor paled. “Yeah. I will take responsibility.”

Nat looked over the list again. “Do you think we should share this with the team? I mean, obviously not to break her privacy but just so they know. So they can help protect her too.”

“Most likely,” Thor sighed, running a hand over his eyes. “I don’t want to do it but it would be important.”

Nat nodded. “Maybe just a few people. Clint, Tony, Bucky, myself and you. Does that sound like a solid Darcy Defense Team?”

Thor smiled sadly. “Yes, I think that would be sufficient. They would understand.”

Nat stood. “Okay. FRIDAY? Call a meeting with those people in ten minutes.”

She looked back at Thor on her way out. “Darcy and I may not be involved romantically anymore but she is one of the most vibrant amazing people I have met. I will protect her, Thor. I promise.”

As she walked away, she heard Thor murmur, "Anymore?" and chuckled. Apparently, Darcy didnt tell her older brother all of her secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo i wrote three chapters for this story today. and we all know how well i sit on chapters...hint, not at all. the second i write, i want to post and share. commendable, yes. but it doesnt serve me well when depression hits.
> 
> thats okay though! as some very very nice readers said to me on my stories yesterday, I DONT NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR NOT POSTING!   
> there, i said it :)  
> depression sucks ass and i need to take care of myself so i will no longer needlessly beat myself up over not posting.
> 
> that being said, dont be shamed into not commenting or checking in on me. this is just me, putting it into the universe, so that i follow through. it has nothing to do with you lovely angels.
> 
> sad stuff alert!  
> my parents want to keep me home for another semester bc corona. ironically, this comes in the next breath after saying that the elementary schools need to reopen and people need to get over corona. its about control, folks.  
> so that would make my third and a half semester in quarantine (i took summer classes) and i want to cry. on one hand, baking whenever i want is a plus. getting to work is a plus. saving money is a plus. but im losing my fucking mind and sanity and identity and shit. sooooo yeah. thats fun.
> 
> i love you guys so much, thank you for all the love on my last chapter. i cant wait to share more of this story with you guys!


	11. Chapter Eleven: You Can Blow Off My Steam Anytime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Tony have a Conversation.

Things had been better, things had been worse. Today was just too damn complicated. 

\---

The day had started out amazing. She was able to get out of bed, she did her makeup and dressed cute, she got breakfast into herself and the scientists. She was currently in the garage, blaring Jet and The Struts over FRIDAY`s speakers as she worked on one of Tony`s cars. She didn’t even notice the footsteps behind her until two arms wrapped themselves around her waist. She tensed before Tony`s voice rumbled against her chest.

“Whatcha doing, Lewis?” he asked, resting his chin on her shoulder. 

Her stomach fluttered for a moment before rolling her eyes. “Stark, you do realize that fancy vintage cars require regular maintenance if you`re going to race them like sixteen year old boy, right?”

He chuckled. “Fair point. Didn’t know you had the skills, though. It looks great!”

She smiled, detaching herself from the clingy genius and walking over to the workbench. “There`s a lot you don’t know about me, Tony.” She mumbled under her breath before selecting the right wrench and heading back to the car. As she worked, Tony watched her.

“Where`d you learn to do all this, anyway? You`re always helping out in the labs; you know a lot more about Science! things than any poli-sci major I`ve ever met.”

Darcy tried to distract herself with what her hands were doing before answering. “I, umm, my dad had an auto-repairs shop when I was a kid. I learned a lot.”

Damn straight, she learned a lot. She learned how to duck a lug wrench being whipped at her head; she learned how to snap her hands back before the hood of a car was slammed on them. She learned how to position her body under a car so that it wasn’t crushed if the jack was kicked out from under it.

She shook her head, cursing herself under her breath as she channeled her anger into the stubborn gasket. Screw her memories, trying to fuck with her flirting moment.

She couldn’t help it; she kinda liked the guy. Sure, he was a little self-absorbed and stupid smart. He had more money than she could even count and a history with lovers that was longer than the circumference of the world. But damn if he wasn’t kind and sweet and self-sacrificing. He understood shit; shit like flinching from being handed things because you weren’t sure if it was a trick or not. Shit like nightmares and getting drunk because memories just hurt. His sarcasm was unparalleled and they shared so many lewd jokes from across the labs, running a competition to see who could get Bruce to blush the brightest. And maybe, maybe she wished sometimes that he was there to coax her out of a panic attack or bad head day because for once, she didn’t want to have to do it herself. 

She slammed the hood down. Those feelings needed to go back where they came from. She could not afford to dump her shit on someone else right now. Relationships that started from a crutch situation never ended well. Forcing her brain back to Okay-Darcy, she looked around. Tony was sitting at the workbench, fiddling with some kind of gadget.

She smiled and wandered over, putting the tools back down on the table. “Well, your racing days are back in business.” She hopped up on a stool next to him and swung around.

He grinned. “Anytime you need to work on my engines to blow off some steam, you do that, sunshine.”

She rolled her eyes before chuckling. “Okay, sexy. But thanks, though.”

He smiled. God, if a genuine Tony smile couldn’t power the sun.

“You sure you`re okay, Darcy?” He scanned her face.

She panicked. Did he see her dark circles? Was her makeup running? What was he doing?

“Yup, just peachy. I`m okieday!” She settled on with a fake grin and a thumbs up. Was it her imagination or did his face drop for a moment.

“Alright, well I`m going to go eat food. You coming?” He stood up, wiping his hands on his pants.

She shook her head. “In a bit.”

Turning back to her work, she froze when he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and kissed her forehead, cradling her for a moment before skipping off with a wave. She sat stunned for a moment, breathing in the afterwave of his cologne before groaning and dropping her head to her arms. She was trying to avoid a doomed romance; why did he have to keep reciprocating her feelings? If there was one thing Darcy had learned from life, it was this. If Darcy wanted it, it would end up destroying her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i mean, yeah.  
> here`s where things start to get ANGSTY.  
> poor Darcy...but we all know the feeling so we`re all hypocrites hahaha
> 
> i dont have much to say today other than its been a good morning. i went back to the pumpkin patch/farm stand and bought more baby pumpkins....like twelve more. i am the pumpkin fairy and i apologize for nothing :)
> 
> hope you guys are doing okay! love you all!


	12. Chapter Twelve: Of Blanket Nests and 3am Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy and Tony have some issues.  
> We knew this.

Tony was concerned. Over the past few days, he`d watched Darcy go from an overconfident, slightly alcoholic, secretly depressed individual to a hesitant, slightly alcoholic, secretly depressed individual. She tried to hide her uncertainty under flirtatious jokes and Science! wrangling but Tony would know those coping mechanisms anywhere. The other day, he watched her flinch when Thor pushed in his chair too loudly.

As if that hadn’t confirmed his suspicions enough, the sight in front of him certainly did. She had left the lab hours ago, saying she was headed to bed while Tony continued to work through his Science! bender. It was now three in the morning and he had stumbled into the kitchen only to see Darcy sprawled out on the sofa, staring at nothing with a cup of coffee in her hand. 

Fuck it, he was going in.

“That have a little extra something?” Tony asked, plopping down beside her on the couch.

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “Thor gives me the disappointed eye whenever he sees me drinking so I`m trying.” She said gloomily while sipping her coffee. She placed it on the side table before swinging her legs up onto the back of the couch and laying down so that she hung off onto the floor.

“So I've switched from Mr Jack Daniels to Mr Juan Valdez. I mean, it's still an addiction but it's a socially acceptable one, and easier on the liver if not my sleep cycle, but it's not like I had a regular sleep cycle, because, you know, Jane. But even she finally calmed down and got a real paying job and gets sleep most of the time, though I can't blame her because THOR. I mean, yeah they`re on break, but if I had memories of a superhero in bed with me, I would be happy to ‘sleep’ all the time. Not that I'm perving on Thor, he's like a brother to me, and I always liked people who were smarter than me, not that that's hard around here because oh my god, this place is nerd-gazing central and Science! peeps are cute and how does that happen." By now, her feet were bouncing dangerously and she was sliding towards the floor. "And I don't remember where I was going with this, but I'm sure there was a point in it somewhere."*

Tony laughed, extending a hand to her and helping her sit back up. “Wait here, Energizer Bunny.” He walked over to the closet and brought back a pile of blankets, proceeding to wrap them around her like a nest.

She smiled goofily up at him before he sat down next to her, wrapping himself up in blankets.

“So. Are we going to talk about things or nah?” He asked.

She instantly shuttered. “Ummm that’s what we`ve been doing.”

It was his turn to roll his eyes, nudging her foot. “You know what I mean. As if I couldn’t recognize my own deflections from miles away.”

She didn’t respond, leaving Tony to bear uncomfortable silence for a moment before sighing.

“So I guess I`ll go first then. Hi my name is Tony.”

“Hi Tony.” 

“When I was growing up, Howard Stark was who everyone wanted to be. I mean, the man had practically created Captain America; everyone saw him as not only the face of technology and weapons but also as the ideal, model person.”

He swallowed. “Surprise, surprise, and here comes the plot twist; he wasn’t. Dear old dad kinda sucked at that. Kids weren’t something he could take apart and figure out; there were no blueprints or Experiment Part 2`s when it failed. He hated that, not being able to control or be in charge of what I said and did. So he got a little physical sometimes. I don’t know if people just didn’t care or if it felt worse to me than it actually was but it hurt, emotionally too. It felt like everyone just let it happen; I mean, I remember the bruises being pretty damn obvious. Even crazy kid Tony Stark doesn’t run into stair railings every other day.”

It was quiet as he breathed. “It took a long time to move on from that. It still hurts. And I haven’t forgiven him even though he`s dead and gone. I`ve had to live with the effects of his actions every fucking day and I cant forgive him yet.”

Darcy untangled one hand from the blanket and squeezed his. “My dad was shit too.”

She paused; Tony knew she was mentally censoring herself. “He owned the car shop. Between his issues and my parents` marriage failing, I had to earn any attention. Sometimes, I wanted it so badly that I didn’t care if it hurt me. So what if I got car hoods slammed on my hands a few times?”

She stopped. Tony guessed there was a whole lot more there but she wasn’t ready yet. He didn’t push.

Instead, he rolled with it. “What a pair we are then, yeah?”

She snorted. “Yeah, two asshole, overconfident products of trauma right here! Come and get it!”

“Speaking on that, if I were to hypothetically ask you, as a fellow traumatized individual, to come get food with me tomorrow, what would you say?” he pressed.

Darcy paused, pursing her lips before smiling. “Well, I`d say that I vibe with it on a hypothetical level.”

“Purely hypothetical, of course.” Tony assured, winking.

They detangled themselves from the blanket nests and began to head back to their rooms. As Tony entered the elevator to his floor, he turned back. 

“So, how do you feel about overpriced coffee?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter came out of nowhere. I had three other chapters lined up and was like, "Actually? I dont like that transition. We can do better." yay tangible, obvious, tony and darcy bonding.
> 
> So yeah. the idea partly came from QueenJuliana126 `s comment on the last chapter so thank you!  
> also, the asterisked paragraph dialogue of Darcy`s came from the lovely Argentee! I tweaked it a little to make it fit but its mostly theirs so thank you!
> 
> I hope you guys liked the chapter! the struggle bus is coming very very soon. thanks for reading! stay safe, loves!


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Two Fuck Ups Walk Into a Coffee Shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The coffee 'date' goes badly because of course it does.
> 
> WHOOP WHOOP! Its the angst train!

It wasn’t a date, Darcy reminded herself. It was just two fucked up friends getting coffee. That’s all.

Darcy had been surprised when Tony casually asked her out for coffee. She didn’t think he was serious, chalking it up to caffeine overload and sleep deprivation so she jokingly said yes. For goodness sakes, they had been in the middle of a serious conversation about trauma and bad coping mechanisms! Even if Darcy wasn’t being 110 percent honest…

Well, turns out the man was serious.

So now, Darcy and Tony were seated at a hole-in-the-wall coffee shop, sipping on only mildly overpriced coffee, talking. It was too easy, talking about stupid college things, favorite colors, or the worst repair job they’ve ever done. Darcy topped that one, with a duct taped thingy of Jane`s. You could’ve breathed on it and it would fallen to ash.

As they talked, Darcy actually felt happy. Tony needed to stop being so easy to like. He understood her, he cared. She was one of the few lucky people who got to see him as he was; that would give anyone a complex. But she couldn’t handle that right now, as much as she wanted to. God, did she want to. 

Still, she let herself have fun and forget all of it, just laughing with him for the moment, feeling comfortable and safe. They were halfway through a piece of coffee cake when Darcy`s phone rang. Glancing at the screen, she paled and put it down. It was her mom.

Almost as soon as it stopped ringing, it started again. Please, god don’t say anything. Don’t make me answer it.

Tony noticed her grow more anxious as the phone continued to ring. “Its okay, you can answer it.”

Dread coiled in her stomach as she lifted it to her ear, turning down the volume. “Hello?” Her voice only shook a little.

“Darcy-Anne Lewis, you fucking whore.”

Darcy froze, shock coiling through her as she was taken back in her memories, of countless phone calls ending in panic and guilt and pain. Of threats and manipulation. Of crawling back to that hell-hole.

“Hey, mom. What`s up?” Darcy slid out of the booth and walked to the lobby. She didn’t want Tony to hear any of this. Whatever it was wouldn’t be good.

“Don’t you dare ‘Whats up’ me. I am your mother, speak to me with some goddamn respect!”

She closed her eyes, trying to take a deep breath. “Yes, Mrs. Lewis. May I inquire as to the purpose of your call this afternoon?”

“You`re damn right, I am. Imagine this for me. I`m sitting down with a nice glass of whisky to read today`s news when a picture of my useless slut of a daughter, who hasn’t called me for months, sitting with Tony Stark pops up on my feed.”

Darcy dropped to the chair, heart pounding. They had only been here for what, an hour? Two hours? Fuck the paparazzi. Two weeks had passed since she arrived in the Compound, it was bound to happen. Her hands started to shake as her hearing cleared and she tuned back in to what her mother was saying.

“-that stain on humanity, lying, self-absorbed, weenie-head! You owe it to us to at least-”

She rolled her eyes, exhausted. “Really, mom? Of all the creative words, you pick weenie-head? That’s pathetic.”

“Don’t interrupt me! You`re the one fucking him! Of course, I shouldn’t be surprised. That’s all you deserve anyway. As long as he enjoys damaged goods. Was it not enough for you to seduce your-“

Darcy snapped. “You know what, mom? You can go fuck yourself! You don’t get to talk to me like this anymore. We`ve all done a pretty great job pretending to not know each other for the past six years, don’t you fucking start now!”

She continued to steamroll over her mother`s indignant shouting. “I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again; leave me the fuck alone. I left and I`m never coming back. I`m not you, I`m not going to live like you, I`m not going to be your doll, and you can fucking go to hell!”

About to hang up, she changed her mind. “And by the way, if I was fucking Tony Stark, at least I`d make him wear a condom so I would get saddled with a disappointment like you did!” She hung up with heaving breath and tears in her eyes. 

Hearing a small gasp behind her, she whirled around, coming face to face with Tony Stark. She blushed; that was too much. Before any words could leave his mouth, before she had to hear a single question or remark of pity or anything that she most definitely couldn’t deal with right now, she spoke.

“We`re in the tabloids. We`re leaving. Now.”

The ride back to the Compound was silent. Darcy sat unresponsive in the passenger seat while Tony drove, nervously glancing at her. Her last sentence bothered him; he had only come out to the lobby after seeing her start to shake and caught the end of her conversation. He swore to himself. He should’ve known the press would jump on this. Especially since he hadn’t had any romantic anything since Pepper. He should’ve known better. As he parked the car, he turned to apologize to her but she was already out of the car, slamming the door and marching inside. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeeeee  
> so i honestly dont know if i like this. like, i honestly think there needs to be more character building and bonding before this point but darcy doesnt want to. darcy just wants to lose her shit.  
> i think i`m going to post the next chapter today too bc i need to just get this out there.
> 
> but yeah. we`re going to get more of Darcy`s backstory now and emotional stuff :/
> 
> please comment with ideas or suggestions or how you`re doing or if you actually liked this. mercury retrograde is kicking my ass and depression sucks.
> 
> love you guys!


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Bucky Enables Darcy-Alert Protocols

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy finally breaks but at least Tony is there, right?
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: not graphic but deals with topics of abuse and rape

Bucky knew trauma; he was well acquainted. He also knew unhealthy coping mechanism. And while he did not really know Darcy Lewis aside of the quick meeting they`d had days ago, he knew that what the woman was currently spouting on the roof was at least a 9 on the scale.

He had watched Darcy Lewis storm past his door on the way to the elevator, bottles in arm, and followed her up. What happened next was a cycle of broken sobbing, taking a drink, and screaming to the sky, with a punctuation of a thrown bottle. 

He stood in the stairwell, watching it unfold through the glass window. “FRIDAY? Tell Stark his girl needs him. Now.”

Three minutes and seventeen seconds later, an out of breath Tony Stark joined him on the landing. “I`m so sorry, it was all my fault-“

Bucky cut him off and pointed to the woman on the roof. “That is not you, Stark. That is some built up, repressed shit that’s coming out. Don’t go in there to apologize. Go in there to listen. I`m going to drag Thor to the security cameras, make him watch this, and force him to call Foster. I`ll get Nat and Clint on it too.”

As Bucky walked away, Tony squared his shoulders and walked out onto the roof. Darcy was currently curled up in the middle of a mess of broken bottles, sobbing. He approached carefully.

“Darcy?” He asked, crouching down to her level. She looked up with puffy eyes.

“I hate them.” She whispered.

“What?”

“I HATE THEM!” She screamed out, causing Tony to jump. She flung a bottle against the little wall surrounding the ledge.

“Every time I think I`m free, they always find me. They never wanted me so why wont they just let me leave?”

“Who, sunshine?”

“Don’t fucking call me that!” Darcy snapped, tears tracking down her cheeks. “I`m not your sunshine or your anything, okay? I`m not anyone`s anything. I cant be, I`m just me, I`m Darcy!”

Tony tried to deflect her harsh words, remembering the Jane Foster Manual for Dealing with One Darcy Lewis. Step Nine included a very angry and hurt Darcy who would lash out, not really meaning her words. He tried to hold on to that as he sat in front of the woman he l-liked. Yeah, liked. Now was not the time for his emotional crisis.

She choked on another sob. “They didn’t want me, I was a mistake. She hated me because I was expensive and needy and had opinions she didn’t want to hear. She didn’t want to be a mom. Dad ignored me because mom hated me, I just wanted him to love me. That’s why I worked so hard in the shop, I wanted him to notice me.”

She sniffled. “Then they started fighting. She wanted a divorce, claimed I was the cause of her failed marriage. He refused. She stopped coming home; he started getting aggressive. Throwing things, beating me, and I looked too much like his absent wife and he got confused which bed he was supposed to sleep in so-“

Darcy was interrupted as she began to retch. Tony was almost grateful, feeling sick to his stomach about what Darcy was going to say next. He held her hair back as she threw up on the roof.

When she was done, she wiped her mouth. “Then when mom finally came back, it was all my fault. It was obviously me being a slut and seducing him and tempting him so she just turned a blind eye while he continued to break open my door at night. Relied on her religion and church, covering up everything with Sunday dresses and prayer groups.”

“I was the sin, I was the servant of the devil, I was the problem. But they wouldn’t let me go, they kept wanting to fix me, to make me be like them. I don’t want to be like them!” Darcy wailed.

“But here I am, drinking like my dad, breaking myself for my mom.” She hiccupped. As she lifted a hand to wipe her eyes, Tony froze. There were cuts all over her hands from the broken glass.

“Darcy, love, let`s take care of that, okay?” He asked gently, reaching for her hands.

She didn’t react as he picked the glass out of her palm. “Its nothing I haven’t done to myself before.” She laughed humorlessly.

Tony looked up at her with tears in his eyes.

“I tried to end it so many times but they wouldn’t let me. They kept saving me, making me stay there. But I`m tired of staying! So I keep going, I keep moving and leaving and trying to run from it all but they`re still in my head. I`m never good enough for anyone, I can never be happy. I`m only good if I`m useful; I cant help Jane anymore, I couldn’t be good at any job I tried. I cant be enough, I`m not enough.”

He carefully reached out to cup her face. “Darcy, is it okay if I hug you now?” He said thickly, trying to hold back tears.

She nodded as he pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. His shoulders shook as he cried into her shoulder, rubbing soothing circles into her back as she began to shake.

“Now you listen to me, Darcy love, okay? You are so freaking brave and strong for making it this far. What happened to you is not your fault, its not. This is all their fault, they did this to you. There are no excuses for how they hurt you. Absolutely none. You get up each day and you make sure that we`re all alive. You keep us alive and you keep yourself alive. You are so kind and loving and brave and so loved. You are important just as yourself; you don’t need to be someone else in order to be valued here. I am so sorry that all of this happened, that I wasn’t thinking, that they came back into your life. They don’t deserve you. Not one bit.”

She nodded into his shoulder as his shirt became more soaked with tears. They stayed like that for a moment longer.

“How about we get you inside and cleaned up?” Tony asked. Together, they made their way back to Darcy`s room. Tony helped wash her cuts and bandage them up. He brought her a cup of tea and wrapped her up in a blanket nest. As they lay there, Darcy closed her eyes.

“I cant do this. I-I don’t deserve you. You don’t need this mess. Its not a good idea. Stop being so nice and making me feel things, okay? Please.”

Tony kissed her forehead. “Too bad. We`ll talk about it in the morning.”

As Darcy drifted off to sleep, Tony sat in sadness over what had happened in the past few hours, as well as what Darcy had shared. It hurt so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiiiii guys......  
> so i wrote this chapter a week or two ago. maybe it came too soon but ya know what? whatevs.  
> we`re dealing with some heavy stuff here.   
> hopefully i get some inspiration to write recovery and fluff bc this is depressing and i`m sorry.
> 
> speaking of depressing...hahaha. here`s story time about my life currently. i totally understand if you dont want to read my venting, no offense taken. you guys signed up for fanfiction, not therapy hour.  
> i almost left my house this weekend. for those of you who dont know, my parents are a little crazy, very strict conservative and religious, and have a history of emotional and verbal abuse. fun times. but for church this weekend, my mom wanted our family to run the pro-life table before mass. a seemingly small thing but it was kinda the straw that broke the camel`s back, ya know? mentally, i snapped a bit. i had a few panic attacks because one, im pro-choice and two, i didnt want to be a part of her catholic family image for her to flaunt.  
> that got me to thinking about how im just so tired of pretending in general. im tired of lying about who i am and what i believe. im tired of not being able to be happy or do anything for myself without having to hide and lie about it.  
> so i called my friend and told her that i was going to come out to my parents as a lesbian over the breakfast table. needless to say, i did not do that because im still here, alive, in my house, posting on the internet. the main reasons i decided not to, after talking to my brother and my friend, is that today is my youngest brother`s birthday and i didnt want to miss that, its corona and not a good time to have to leave your house on your own, and im over halfway through my sophomore fall semester.  
> it just sucks. its terrifying because there`s a 95% chance that me coming out will result in me having to leave. its also hard because even with everything theyve put me through, theyre still my family, theyre supposed to love me no matter what even thought they dont. plus, there are good times and fun times too, not just sucky ones. im just not ready to give up on what family is supposed to be, even though it is super detrimental to my own health and wellbeing.  
> why am i venting and oversharing to strangers? no freaking clue other than i feel like you guys really listen and care so it makes me feel not as alone.  
> so yeah. thats my life right now. i dont want your pity, i dont want you guys to worry about me. im completely safe, just really sad.
> 
> back to fanfiction stuffs! please comment any ideas, suggestions, reactions, below! i love being able to write this together.  
> love you guys! stay safe out there.
> 
> p.s. if youre of age in the united states right now, please please vote. im begging you. as a member of the lgtbq+ community, it is terrifying to think that depending on this election, i could not be legally allowed to get married, that i could be denied jobs bc of my sexuality. so many terrible, awful things have been going on and i am honestly scared for the future, if it keeps going this way. so yeah, thats all. just vote.


	15. Chapter Fifteen: The Wrath of Natasha Romanoff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha deploys Super Scary Threat Powers while Darcy and Tony talk in the aftermath.

Thor paled as Nat and Clint turned in their swivel chairs to stare at him from either side.

“Now are you going to call Jane?” Natasha demanded in a low voice.

Clint silently passed Thor the phone, Jane`s number already pulled up. They waited as it rang, Natashas reaching over and putting it on speaker phone.

“So how`s the world ending this time?” Jane`s tired voice came over the line. Thor gulped.

“Hi Jane.”

There was a pause. “Thor, this is my emergency line. If we are going to work on communication, we need to learn how to do it like normal people and not only when the world is ending.”

Natasha drove her elbow into Thor`s side.

He sighed. “Its not the world, its Darcy.”

“You mean my world? Because Darcy is in fact my world, Thor. Now you tell me, what is going on with Darcy?”

The woman`s rage spurred Thor into answering quickly. “When I went to check on her a few weeks ago, she was at about a 7. So I brought her here to the Compound and its been really great. I mean, she`s not completely better but she`s not worse so that’s good. But, um,–“

“Spit it out, Thor, I swear to Frigga.”

“Her mom called her while she was out for coffee with Tony and she went full 9.5 on the scale.”

The silence was threatening. They all heard as Jane Foster took a shuddering breath and stifled a sob. “Okay.” She answered in a small voice. “I`m coming. Send me a fucking jet.”

\---

Tony woke up to a shuddering body in his arms. The events of the day before came flooding back as he began to hug Darcy tighter. He glanced at the clock. 4:15am.

“Hey, hey, its okay, I`m right here.” He turned her around in his arms as she tried to bury her face in his chest. He stroked her back as she cried.

“Its too much, Tony. Every day I wake up and I don’t want to be here. Its too much. I`m constantly looking around, flinching, planning for when I mess this up and it all goes wrong and I have to let it all go again. I`m tired of waking up like this, I`m tired of it all. And I cant explain it, I cant come to you guys for you to ask me what`s wrong because I don’t know!”

Tony just held her while she spoke, voice wavering and thick with tears.

“Darcy?”

She nodded, making a noise that was likely a ‘yeah?’.

“I don’t judge you; not one bit. I want to help you. I want to see you smile and laugh and for it to be real. I want you to be able to feel safe and sleep well and work in the garage or lab without being scared. You are so important to me and I don’t want to see you suffer like this.”

Darcy pushed back from his arms, shaking her head. “No, no, no, you cant be like this! You cant be nice, it just makes it harder when I have to go back!”

Tony reached out and held her hands. “Darcy, I want you to listen to me very closely. You are never going back there. The only time you will ever go back to them is when we are there with you to punch your parents into the ground.”

She looked down at their joined hands, squeezing them lightly once. Tony took a deep breath.

“I love you, you know?”

“I know that this is all out of order and we might be doing it wrong. I know all the professionals say that starting a relationship while you`re healing is bad. But I care about you so much. Please try, for me. For yourself. Because you deserve so much goddamn more than you were ever given.”

They both choked out a laugh through tears.

She smiled hesitantly. “I want to try. But I`m going to mess up.”

He nodded. “I am the poster child for it. We`ll figure it out, yeah? Nothing makes sense in this crazy world anyway.”

They fell back asleep to unspoken promises and the tiniest shred of hope that they could allow themselves to have. They slept through the rest of the night, surprisingly, wrapped around each other. It still felt too soon though, when Tony shot out of bed to Darcy`s screech.

“Jane??!! What are you doing here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys, im baaack!
> 
> is it just me or is it an all ao3 writers thing? i have severe word count insecurity. i find myself constantly comparing some of my works to other works and being like, "well, you had (insert ridiculously high number of words here) in this chapter, why cant you do it here?"
> 
> in other words, the inspiration bunnies ran far, far away and im only now catching a glimpse of them again.
> 
> in conclusion, we love jane foster, thor must have shit his pants, and yay because darcy and tony are finally getting somewhere, even if its in the midst of falling apart.
> 
> i miss you guys. life is hard right now. its really freaking hard. but im pushing through, im trying not to push myself too hard, im trying to take care of myself as much as i can.
> 
> also, i started another fic.  
> but its okay because i was inspired to start it and im excited about it. check it out if you want to, its an original character and she`s a badass.
> 
> please stay safe, loves. its a scary place out there. the US is not where anyone wants to be right now. thank you all for your comments; they keep me going, even if i dont always have the energy to respond right away. you guys help me stay alive and believe that im going to be okay. thank you for being my own little family.


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